RATING: 2 out of 10
VERDICT: A vampire movie that really sucks. Not blood -- it just sucks.

This is the second adaptation to come from Anne Rice's seemingly interminable 'Vampire Chronicles'; the Tom Cruise starrer "Interview With The Vampire" was released in 1994, and was -- as you might expect given Cruise's presence -- not exactly superb cinematic fare. Compared to this one, though, it was a masterpiece.

The plot, such as it is, centers once again around Lestat (Townsend), a vampire who -- we learn via an irritating voiceover -- went to sleep for decades after the last film ended. (We know how he felt.) Now he's awoken in the present day and, within minutes, has become a world-famous rock star. His music awakens Queen Akasha (a nearly topless Aaliyah), who causes all sorts of havoc. A subplot features a researcher who has more in her past than she realises, and her boss, the ever-dreadful Paul McGann. Let's face it, once one of the McGann brothers (the UK's answer to the Baldwins) has surfaced, all hope of quality entertainment is pretty much futile.

Actually, McGann's acting doesn't stand out as being really horrible, but that's because the rest of the cast has generously decided to drop down to his level. Apparently, speaking quietly, deliberately and with virtually no inflection makes one seem menacing; at least, that's what Townsend seems to believe. Aaliyah doesn't actually appear in the movie until about half way through, and when she does she proves that she was clearly cast for her (admittedly very nice) body, rather than for any actual acting ability.

To round off the dross nicely, the effects are unbelievable -- in that they are almost exact clones of those you'll see every week on TV in "Buffy The Vampire Slayer". Joss Whedon should sue for the disappearing-in-a-puff-of-smoke effect used when the vampires die, for starters.

One of these days, someone will produce another great vampire movie. This, though, ain't it. Save your money and watch Buffy on TV instead; it's better written, better acted, better directed, and the effects are just as good. Everyone associated with this piece of dross should be ashamed of themselves.